Have you ever eaten that slice of cake that you know will go straight to the body part you are trying to minimize? But it tasted so good.
Have you ever have your children walk in on you and your spouse when you were in a compromising position? Mommy and Daddy were just horse playing.
Have you ever thought you hung up the phone but you realize that you didn’t and the person heard what you said about them? Ooops! My bad!! You weren’t suppose to hear that.
Have you ever had to go the bathroom in a public place and when you walked out the stall everyone was covering their noses? This is a bathroom, right?!
Have you ever been talking to a person and had to pass gas? I pray that it doesn’t smell.
Have you ever been talking to a person and they had something in their nose? I need to pass this person a Kleenex.
Have you ever been standing behind a person and they decided to remove their undies from the butt? Yep, it happened while shopping for groceries.
Have you ever told your spouse/significant other to go brush their teeth before kissing you? That smell can really kill the mood.
Have you ever been in church and was not aware of what the preacher was talking about? This happens quite often.
Have you ever wanted to tell your kids to SHUT UP instead of saying be quiet? Don’t kill their spirit.
Have you ever been on the phone with a parent and you wanted to hang up on them? Not ready to lose my career over this person, I guess I will listen.
Have you ever been out and about and run into a co-worker that you really don’t want to talk to? Girls, let’s go this way instead – the long way.
Have you ever wanted to call off but you are not sick, you just don’t feel like working? My feelings last Wednesday.
Have you ever called in and weren’t sick? That’s a better question.
Have you ever called in sick and was seen by several of your students’ parents while shopping at the mall during school hours? Need to try this one.
Have you ever notice that your kids want everything they see on the commercials? No, you can’t have it.
Have you ever notice that grown ups and ‘s on to verbs such as know’s, ran’s? Not sending my kid to that school.
Have you ever notice that your plate looks good to your kids? Please eat off your own plate.
Have you ever notice that you no longer go to the bathroom by yourself (if you have children)? Give me five minutes please.
Have you ever notice that your kids only want MOM when they are sick? You have a father you know.
Have you ever notice that your kids call out your name in the middle of night? What happened to the other half that you helped make you.
Have you ever notice that your spouse plays possum when it is time to do any physical work outside of the bedroom? Maybe I am telling too much now.
Have you ever notice that people who talk too much really have nothing to say? Just my thoughts.