Surprise 1 and Surprise 2

2005 was a rough year. We tried everything. I do mean everything. When I thought I tried every avenue possible, I was told I was expecting. I had waited for 8 months to hear those words and  I remembered the day as if it were yesterday. I had the doctor to repeat those words. I wanted to hear her correctly. I was thrilled beyond belief.

May 6, 2006 was my surprise of a lifetime. The doctor announced that I delivered a baby girl. I always wanted a girl. I have a small image of myself. Someone to model into a fine young lady, someone to look up to me and say “I want to be like you, Mommy,” someone to shop with and for, someone to love until infinity. Kennedy was my first of many surprises and she was one of best surprises. She has my caring heart and forgiving spirit. 

While enjoying every moment of Kennedy’s first year, I was shocked to learn that I was expecting another baby. This did not set well with me at first – well at least for the first nine months. I was not ready for baby #2. I really was not ready for a baby at all. Nope! I was done. Finished. Close down the shop. Snip. Clip. I was not having it. I did not want another baby. I really wanted to continue to enjoy every moment with my Kennedy

After my stomach continued to swell and then the  labor pains kicked in, I came to the realization that I was about to give birth for the second time. It really hit me that I was about to become a mom again. On the drive to the hospital in a winter storm,  all I could think about was having a baby on the side off the road. An hour and a half later we made it to Rush Hosptial to only sit and wait until my doctor awoke for her slumber to deliver my bundle of joy. (I was also praying, wishing, hoping for a girl.)

On February 11, 2008 I was given the best news ever – I welcomed into the world another baby girl. I am now blessed with two divas (yes they are true divas). Sydney came into the world with a low cry – more like a muffle. But once the doctor tapped her on the button, she made sure the world heard her loud and clear. She continues to make sure her voice is heard. She has my determination, my sassy personality, and my quick comebacks. 

I always wanted to hear someone call me mom. Now I hear it only a daily basis, hourly basis, minute by minute basis. 

I always wanted to grow a child from infancy to adulthood and notice my imprint/stamp on them, in them.  Now I have two mini-me running around in the world.

I always wanted to blessed with at least one girl. Now I am blessed with two.

Every day I am thankful for the surprises bestowed upon me. More importantly I am thankful for Surprise 1 and Surprise 2 – my Kennedy and Sydney. 

No Inspiration – Yet

I’m back!!

It feels like the first time all over again – this writing thing.

I took just a small break. Now I have to find some inspiration.

Let me recap what I did while I was away from my computer for the past four days.

I was in a wedding this past weekend but nothing really exciting happened other than the bride and groom said “I do.”

I almost missed my flight to witness this beautiful celebration of love. TSA had a line that was nearly out the door. The workers were moving as fast as they possibly could. I have no inspiration to come from that minor hiccup.

The airport lost my luggage. I really do not feel like ranting again – plus my choice words would not be appropriate. I truly would NOT “speak with good purpose.”

It was a beautiful outdoor wedding. The weather was not in our favor for an outdoor by the water wedding. I was not properly dressed and my wonderful husband kept the chill off of me.

Every seat on the return flight was filled. This caused me to have an anxiety attack on the plane before take off but after they closed the doors. Deep breaths. Look out the window. Turn on fan to get air. Deep breaths. Look out the window. Deep breaths. Stewardess asked if I was ok. Deep breaths. Look out the window. Husband began fanning me. More deep breaths. Calming down. Slow deep breaths. Breathing returns to normal. Flight begins to take off. Slow breaths. Close eyes. Go to sleep. I’m better now. No inspiration to relive that ordeal.

Husband and I retrieved luggage – thankful that it was not lost AGAIN. Retrieve children from Aunt’s house. Go gorcery shopping. Prepare for the week. Walk out the door to head to the hospital to visit my mom.

I’m at the hospital and I still do not have any inspiration to write. But I AM BACK!!!

VOTE

Katie: “What’s going on?”

Me: “Nothing. I’m working on my slice.”

Katie: “Oh, what is it?

Me: “Nothing. I don’t have one.”

She laughed and walked out the door. I looked out the window for inspiration.

I noticed many people: old, young, tall, short, thin, thick, dark hair, light hair, wheelchair-bound walking/rolling by single-filed, alone. I saw them come and I saw them go. They entered my school sticker-less and exited sticker-proud. They chatted about their candidates and then went about their day.

I remembered I was in their shoes several hours earlier – casting my vote. We were alike yet different. They came alone. I had my young daughters in tow as I casted my vote. I am teaching them early that they will exercise their right to vote. It will become one of their civic duty.

They watched with excitement as I casted my vote. I read aloud (more like a whisper) the candidates.  The names were familiar to them. They knew about the candidates and were able to express their views (my views) about them. They understood it was my opinion, my view, my choice, my reason for choosing the best candidate to speak/work for me and that information will remain with me unless I choose to share.

The ballot officials commented on how “Great” it was to bring them out to vote. “I would not have it any other way,” I said with a smile in a voice and a twitch in my hips.

I want my girls to look at ME as a role model on how to be a productive citizen in society. I want them to model after me about exercising all their rights in a respectful and dignified way. I want them to fight for their rights and not to allow others to take them away. More importantly, I want them to understand that their voice matters, their VOTE matters. VOTE!!!! It is the right thing to do.

My Visit to the City

It is nearly the next day and I have yet to post anything. I have so many slices running through my head at this time. I am having a difficult time grabbing one. As I draft one, another pops into my head.

I was in the city due to a family emergency. I had thoughts of writing about that experience to help me get through this darkness that is hovering over me. But the tears came. So I stopped writing that slice.

I ran into an old grammar school buddy who gave me the tightest hug today because she felt I needed it. I never spoke a word about what I was going through at the time. I wanted to write about our childhood. But then thoughts of my reason of why I was in the city crept back to the forefront of my thinking.

I was going to slice about the happy news my daughter shared with me regarding her math test. But that thought was quickly interrupted with the need of calling the paramedics. Then the reason of why I was in the city surfaced again.

So I decided to write about the reason why I was having a hard time grabbing a thought to write about – my visit to the city.

My mom is sick again – possibly another stroke. She refuses to go to the hospital. So we (the siblings) are playing a waiting game – a don’t let her sleep into eternity game. I am not ready to let her go. Not now. Not ever.

Rejuvenation

I have been awake since 5 am and I have had the opportunity to think – I mean like really think. My thoughts are of spring, warmer weather, sockless days, pedicures and manicures. My thoughts are green grass, flowering trees, birds chirping, rainy days. My thoughts are sunny days, ice cream trips, coatless days, time spent in the yard, favorite beverages on the patio. My thoughts are of Spring – my prelude to Summer. I feel it in the air. Please hurry. I need you to come to help rejuvenate me.

WAR!!!

War! Fight!

The South is at war with each other. The Left Side cannot get along with the Right Side. So instead of meeting and compromising, each side decided it was time to go to war. The war has been going on for days. One brave cell decided to call in reinforcement from the North. The North agreed to help. It trained and trained. It head South but got stuck in the middle. The North became angry and headed back home for a game plan. They decided to call in their reinforcement from the outside. Two groups agreed to help – one small, one large. The North decided it was a job for the Big Guns.  The Big Guns secretly entered through the hole at the tip of the South and silently spilled its killing agent all over the it. The South soon became quiet again. 

The past few days I have been battling the flu and a major headache. My stomach (the South) has been at war with itself. One minute the right side is up in arms and raging hell and then the left side decided to show its strength. Whew!! My head (the North) realized there was a war down below and decided to use my skull as target practice. Piercing pain raged through my head as the South was at war with itself. After target practicing, the North decided to head south but was stopped by a sore throat. It head back North for target practicing and a better game plan. The North thought about its options: a pill which will take forever to attack or a liquid which could drown the South and offer some much needed rest. So  I had to call in my trusted friend ThermaFlu to help me get through the day. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. 

Things to Borrow or Not

My office is located in the main office. It is often busy – I do mean BUSSYYY – in the main office. I try to assist as much as possible when students and/or parents come to the office. While assisting I often hear things that make me raise an eyebrow or two. I often ask hear things like this:

Can I borrow…

….a Kleenex? (I’m not sure if I want it back after you have used it.)
….a stick of gum? (Are you conducting a experiment? Do you think I want it back?)
….a peppermint for my upset stomach? (Now my stomach is upset.)
….a santiary napkin? (Please keep it. I have no use for it after you used it.)
….toilet paper? (This list is just getting better and better.)
….contact solution? (How do you suggest I get it back after you have put it in your eye?)
….a comb or brush? (Really?!)
….a toothbrush? (Student said he was rushing to get to school and did not have time to brush his teeth. He was allowed to keep it.)
….deodorant? (Student noted that he forgot to put some on this morning and he had gym that period. It was URGENT that he had deodorant right then. He did not want to smell nor did I want to smell him. So we went out and purchased a container just for him to keep in his locker.)
….plastic utensils? (Teachers/students sometimes forget to bring spoon or fork for their lunch. I think we can afford to replace the used utensils.)

I do believe what people really want to say is Can I have, Do you have, Is it possible to give me, etc.

The word Borrow implies that you plan to give it back to me. There are just some items one can keep.

Because of her….

Mom is a true southern woman. Her family means the world to her and you better not bother them. She’s a protector, a fighter, a provider. She has demonstrated to my siblings, to me what it means to love your family and provide for them.

Because of her…I am an educated woman. She knew the importance of a good education. She made sure each of her children received a solid education.

Because of her…I am an independent thinker. She did not give us answer to our questions. She made us find the answer and report back to her. She then would let us know if we were right or wrong. You never wanted to be wrong.

Because of her…I understand the importance of not following my friends or “The Joneses.” She constantly told us that we would not be like everyone else. “Think for yourself and do not let anyone get in the way of your success.” This statement is repeated to my daughters – almost daily.

Because of her…I can tell my kids no and not feel too bad about it. “Someone in your life will tell you no. It is best that you hear it from me first.” That was another statement said to us when we wanted something. She often told us if we wanted it (the item) bad enough, we could go find a job and pay for it out of own pockets. I got my first job at 15 and have been working ever since. (There were things, expensive things, that I wanted for myself.)

Because of her…I am able to save. “Save for a rainy day. You do not have to buy everything you see.” What a true statement!!! My savings help me conceive my first child. Infertility visits are very expensive.

Because of her…I have excellent work ethics. She taught us not to hang around the water fountain gossiping about other people. She demonstrated what happens when you put your best foot forward. She was promoted to manager after three years on her job. She said, “Your supervisors will notice your hard work and compensate you according.” In my case I was promoted to principal. I wonder how far am I willing to go?

Because of her…I am a loyal person.  She remained with my dad unti he was ready to call it quits. She was a loyal employee to th federal government for 30 odd years. I have been with my husband for 20 years and I currently have been with my employer for 18 years and counting.

Some would say that their mother has demonstrated some of these same qualities. This may be true but because of HER I am the person I am. Thanks, Mom!

My Celebration

I am going to celebrate the small things today.
I am going to celebrate that I actually hit my Fitbit goal today – 10,000 steps.
I am going to celebrate that my girls were happy that we were home before sundown. Spring is around the corner. We are ready!!
I am going to celebrate that my oldest girl was excited to tell me how awesome of day she had. She has had some rough days lately – girl drama.
I am going to celebrate that my youngest girl was in bed before 7. She said her teacher talked a lot. I believe she meant she “taught a lot.”
I am going to celebrate that my hubby decided to surprise with lunch today. He was off from work and thought about me.
I am going to celebrate that today was a good day.

It is important to find some rays of sun in your day. I look for rays in every aspect of my day and I celebrate those rays.

Cleaning House

The email came this weekend. It notified me to clean out my closet. To donate clean, gently used items. The email forced me to tackle each closet and to fill bags to the max. I considered the email to be my therapy session for the week. I do not need a person with the initials MD after their name and a long couch to help me distress. I just needed the email. I knew it was coming. It comes in March every year. It never fails me. 

The email came early Saturday morning. It was the first email in my inbox. I immediately started my house cleaning. I don’t mean with a mop or broom. I mean throwing things away. In this case I will donate all the items. The family was not happy. My philosophy is “If you have not worn it in the last month, it goes in the bag. If it is too small, it goes in the bag. If I don’t like it anymore, it goes in the bag.” 

I feel so relaxed. I cleaned and cleaned. I am going to make someone happy. Better yet, I am going to make myself happier. Once I donate all these bags of clothing to Carson’s Goodwill Sale this week, I am going to be in heaven. Yep! The email I received was the notice that Carson’s Goodwill Sale starts on Wednesday. I can’t even control myself. They are going to be so happy to see Blue Ivory (the name of my car) pull up. I will need to make several trip from the trunk to the door. I will make sure I have on my Fibit. I am sure to get in a few hundred steps. 

Sometimes the smallest things make me happy. Thank you, Carson. I plan to spend all day Saturday with you.